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Monday, October 31, 2011

a letter to me at 23

I got this idea from a news fan page. THE TODAY show asked recently- "If you could write a letter to your younger self what would you say?"

Here's my letter:

Dear Deneen,

I am writing this letter to you from the future.

I know at 23 you've already experienced more than most 50 year olds have, but even though you feel "grown up, you're not.  There is so much more for you out there to experience and if you stay in God's will it still won't be "easy" but it WILL be less painful than your "own" route.

The "man" you think you love is really a boy and by the time he is 50 - he will STILL be a "boy". He never really DOES grow up. The last thing he wants is to be saddled down by a wife and 2 kids. Let him go the first time he says - "I don't think I want to be married anymore".
At 23- you're already married with 2 kids and I know you think God wants you to STAY married no matter what.
But the God I have come to know loves you more than you can ever imagine and He would NEVER want you to stay in a marriage that you aren't loved in. After all , you're Hid daughter, would YOU want YOUR daughter to be treated as you are being treated?!

You deserve to be married to someone that wants to be a co-parent with you, someone who doesn't brag about "never having changed a single diaper" after 2 kids. Someone that puts you and your children and GOD first in his life.

When he tells you he doesn't want to be with you, believe him and let him go.
People generally don't make cruel things like this up and if he has been honest enough with you to say it - then YOU be honest enough to yourself and BELIEVE it. 
Don't believe him when he tells you you're unattractive, have ugly legs and are big enough to be a line backer. He is insecure and feels un-masculine in his own tiny body and you are fine the way you are!

Once you're free of that man- don't fall for the first one that treats you nice and tells you you ARE gorgeous.
Go to school- find a way to support yourself and your children so you don't wind up dependent on anyone but God.

Whatever you do, don't date for at LEAST 5 years after your divorce. When you do begin dating, date men that treat your children&  you with respect and most of all,date only men that LOVE GOD and put Him FIRST!

Don't be afraid to be a single mom -  because truthfully in the marriage you're in right now you ARE a single mom anyway! Better to be a single mom living alone than a single mom living WITH the father that couldn't care less.

I want you to learn from the past decisions your own mom has made. See where she could have made better ones and then LEARN form that. Don't say, "I have the right to make my own mistakes".

That is just stupid.

23 is young! SOOOO young!

There is so much you can accomplish if you just trust God AND your own GUT!

You KNOW what I am saying is true- you've already thought everything I am telling you and you can do this with God by your side!

You and your kids will be FINE! In fact, you'll be FANTASTIC!!!

BY the way- when you're ready to move - call a cute company named:


(I've heard the owner is a really nice man)